Staring at my daughter’s open doors was
like getting a glimpse into my worst nightmare.
I felt sick imagining all of the twisted
things Carmina might have done to her; knowing it was all my fault.
I walked up to the porch and saw blood
leading into the house, and beyond to where it pooled below a chair where
someone was sitting.
“Oh my God!” I said; barely a
whisper. It was all surreal and I felt
faint, but I had to check to see if she was still alive.
I averted my eyes from the blood and
focused on the chair; confused because who I saw there wasn’t who I expected.
It was Carmina… not my daughter.
“What
did you do with her!” I demanded, but
Carmina didn’t move or answer right away.
I’m sure she was too busy enjoying the fear that caused my voice to
waver.
“What have you done with my
daughter?” I asked again… my voice weak,
defeated and afraid of her reply.
She answered as if it wasn’t obvious that
I was asking about Christina. “Your
daughter? I’m your daughter,” she
whispered in a distant, almost dismissive tone.
“What?”
I asked. I couldn’t figure out
why she was back to insisting that she was my daughter, when she was here
standing in my biological daughter’s house.
Carmina
rose from the chair as she spoke; answering my silent question, “You gave birth
to me too… I was born out of your vanity and greed.”
She continued, “I am
yours just as much as the daughter that you abandoned… a manifestation of your
desire for a perfect beautiful daughter, a happy husband…
a perfect life.”
What Carmina was saying sounded crazy and far-fetched, but with all that had
gone on between us… I wasn’t quick to doubt her.
“But how can that be? What are you…where
did you come from?” I needed to know…
because there was no way that she was human.
“Oh, I go by a lot of names… I’ve been
called jealousy, vanity, greed… sometimes even wrath.”
“But
those things are not… alive.” It
was too much for me to believe. In my mind, there was no way that what she said
was true.
Carmina turned quickly to face me. “I wouldn’t be so sure. They are alive and well… continuously fed and
kept alive by the human mind… like yours, the day you abandoned your own child
and stole me.”
My
stomach sank at hearing my past sins being thrown back at me.
“You say that you’re a manifestation of
my desire to have a perfect life… but you made my life anything but
perfect?”
“That’s
the beauty of it all. You asked for a
beautiful daughter, but you forgot to ask for the important things…”
Carmina paused, giving her next words a
dramatic effect, “…like compassion, honesty, kindness and goodness.”
Those
were the perfect words to describe Christina… my real daughter.
“No… you got exactly what you asked for…
you got me.” Carmina threw her arms out
to the side as if she was expecting some applause.
I thought about what she said and I found
a potential loophole. “Well if this was
all created by me… if you were born in my mind as you say… then I can kill
you.” Saying those words gave me a sense
of power… if only temporary.
Carmina started to giggle as if what I
had said was insane. She then placed her
hands over her mouth as if to stifle her laughter, “Are you sure?” She said in a snicker when she had finally
stopped laughing enough to speak.
I was determined not to let her amusement
kill my resolve. “I can try,” I said
with as much courage as I could manage.
Carmina began to circle around me;
suddenly serious again.
“I seriously doubt that,” she began,
narrowing her eyes in my direction. She
still had the upper hand and she knew it.
“You’ve been living with the emotions
that gave birth to me all of your life,” she went on as if she had seen it all.
“You were jealous
of the pretty girls in school… you know, the ones that boys just couldn’t get
enough of,” Carmina said low enough in
my ear to almost be a whisper.
I
couldn’t deny that. I would have given
anything to be the object of some of those guys’ lustful stares. I wanted to be wanted as much as those other
girls… the girls that looked like Carmina; with the long pretty hair, light
skin and hazel eyes.
“You were too vain to bring home your flawed child…
right? My God… what would people say if
you brought home a child with only one eye?”
My
head dropped in defeat. Carmina was
hitting me deep. I was facing my biggest
shortcomings… my most raw emotions.
“You were far too insecure to
let your husband meet his own first
born child… so you chose me instead. You
fed into your weaknesses.”
She
was right and I was so exposed that I could have died from my shame just as
quickly as I would if I were buried naked in a ton of snow.
“You were too powerless and selfish to
save your husband… You let a mere child
take him away from you! And
now here you are with a feeble attempt to save a one-eyed-freak that you never
wanted in the first
place.”
The
hate and cruelty in her voice when she
spoke of Nick and my daughter gave me the tiny spark that I needed. I turned to face Carmina…
…and my eyes once again focused on the
blood smeared throughout the foyer behind her.
My daughter could be somewhere nearby dying… while I was distracted by Carmina’s
stalling and monologues.
I looked
directly into her soulless eyes so that she knew that I was
serious and not afraid. “YOU’RE WRONG! I
did want her… I do want
her… and I will die for her. Where is she? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER?” My words were so forceful that I could feel
veins popping out of the side of my head; as my heart pounded to match my
intensity.
Carmina
gasped and backed away as if she were an innocent victim.
Then she dismissed my words with a
mocking laugh. “Why would you die for
someone that you
tossed to the side like a piece of left-over trash
to never be thought of again?”
“I have thought of her! EVERY… SINGLE… DAY…,” I emphasized each word
with a jab of my finger towards Carmina’s
chest, “and I swear to God that I will kill you for hurting her!”
“You’d better hope to kill me, because
when I’m done with you… I’m going to finish her off by clawing out her other
eye and breaking her sorry neck!”
Carmina’s
words were like a detonator. My body
reacted before I had time to think. I
rushed over and lunged at her with everything I had.
It was all a blur… but, somehow I managed
to get one of my arms around Carmina’s
neck and I squeezed as hard as I could; pulling down with all of my weight.
She kicked and scratched and tried to
yank on my arms, but I wasn’t about to let go until I felt the life drain out
of her and witnessed her body dropping to the ground.
But Carmina
soon got the better of me. She used her
long nails to grab the arm that was around her neck and she began to dig in
deep.
I could feel my skin begin
to
tear as her nails dug into the sensitive nerves in my forearm, forcing me to
loosen my grip. Carmina was able to
reach behind her head and grab me… digging her nails into my back. She
used her grip on my shirt to flip me over her shoulder; knocking me into the
chair…
… and threw me into the corner. My head hit the wall hard and my vision
became blurry as I began to lose consciousness.
“I guess you are willing to die for her,” Carmina
whispered over her shoulder; sounding a little taken aback.
Carmina’s
words sounded far away, as I tried hanging on as long as I
could. I still didn’t know where my
daughter was. If I couldn’t help her… I
just knew she would die.
But then I heard her. I heard Christina’s surprised voice… “Oh my God… who are you? What’s going on!”
She had just arrived home
and was
standing at her front door unharmed. The
blood on the floor wasn’t hers, Carmina just wanted me to think it was.
“Ah… you’re right on time… welcome to our
little family reunion,” Carmina said; amused.
I tried to call out… to warn her, but I
couldn’t break out of haze that I was in.
I knew that I was going to black out soon.
“I’m sorry…” was all I managed to
whisper…
Christina screamed when she peeked around
Carmina and saw me…
…and then I blacked
out
to the sound of my daughter’s screams.
Labels: I Stole Evil
