I was back in Sunset Valley where Nick
and I grew up.
Being back reminded me of the simpler
times…before marriage, before parenthood, before the business move…
…back when Nick and I first fell in love.
I drove until I pulled up in front of a
big house; colonial style with a green front lawn, a large front porch and
double doors.
I almost cried when I saw it…it held so
many memories for me.
Just walking up the walkway, I could
almost smell the freshly baked German Chocolate cakes and hear the steady
rhythm of gospel and jazz music filling the house with warmth, security and
promises of joy.
I stepped up on the porch like I’d done a
million times before.
But I paused before ringing the doorbell;
not sure what to expect because it had been so long since I’d been here.
When I did an old woman answered the
door, just as I expected. She was a very
neat looking woman; with gray hair pulled back into a bun and a pretty slightly
winkled face.
“Mom?”
I half said and half asked, because I expected to see my mother; my
mouth already ready to form that one word.
I hadn’t seen my mother since Carmina was a baby. Seeing this woman instead threw me off.
“No,
I’m not your mother. I’m a mother, but I
only have sons,” the old woman answered.
I guess she could see the question on my
face, so she answered without me even voicing it, “I just moved here two years
ago…”
“The woman who lived here before me
passed away…I’m so sorry, she must have been your mother,” the lady
continued.
Oh God…how could I not have kept in
touch with my own mother? I asked myself as tears filled my
eyes. Why
didn’t I know that she had passed away? I wondered; suddenly sure that
Carmina had something to do with that being kept from me. I could just picture her intercepting the
call.
“I don’t have anyone else left in this
world!” I cried out loud.
“I’m so sorry,” the lady repeated with
sympathy in her tone. “Please come in dear,”
she added without hesitation.
She lead me into her house. It was just as I remembered it, when mom
lived there. It was exactly the same
place where I had grown up. The
furniture, the rugs, the paint on the walls, the tables and the bookshelves
were all the same…everything except the pictures.
“So…the furniture was left here when you
bought it?” I asked already knowing the answer, but still thrown off by the
fact that I was not speaking to my mother.
“Yes…when
your mother passed away, there was no one available to clean out the house, so
it was eventually sold as is…minus really personal items like pictures and
clothes.” The old woman answered.
Hearing
that broke my heart. I had let my mother
down.
“Have a seat dear…” the lady
offered.
I
took another look around before I complied.
“Ma’am…what’s your name?” I asked
suddenly realizing that I didn’t know it.
“Oh how rude of me! Let me tell you
about myself…my name is Mrs. Whitehead, but you can call me Eva. I’m a widow, sixty-four years young,"
she smiled . "My husband, George, died of a heart attack in our old home
two years ago and I just couldn’t bear living there alone any longer, so I
moved here,” she began.
“Let’s see,” she continued, “I have four
sons, but only one who still lives in town.
His name is Greg…he’s twenty-nine and he lives down the street with his
wife and baby. They visit almost
everyday. Now, please…tell me about
yourself…”
“I’m Diane and I’m thirty, and…” I
stopped when I saw Eva’s reaction to my age.
“Oh child, what have you been through?” Eva asked.
“Well, I…” I started, but hesitated. I wasn’t sure where to begin or how much to
reveal to this woman. I wasn’t even sure
she would believe anything I said.
Noticing
my hesitation, she graciously gave me some time to think after I went silent,
“I’ll make us some tea…wait right here,” she said.
I watched as she swiftly moved around the
kitchen collecting cups and tea bags.
When she finished, she handed me a mug of
lightly sweetened tea and returned to her chair across from me.
I took a sip of tea and began my story…
“Well, I was twenty-three when I had my first child…” I began and the rest of
the story effortlessly left my mouth after that.
I told her things that I had never told
anyone…including how I had taken Carmina from the hospital and how there’s no
record of it ever occurring. Eva sat and
listened to every word without judgment.
I wasn’t sure if she believed me or not and she gave no indication
either way.
When I finished speaking I felt as if I
had fully purged myself. I felt
vulnerable and helpless as I waited for her to respond.
She didn’t say anything for a long
time. She just sat there not looking at
me. I took that as a sign that she
didn’t believe me.
I stood up to leave. “Thank you for listening…” I said in a shaky
voice.
Eva
stood up as well. She opened her mouth,
but closed it again as if she just couldn’t work out what to say.
Suddenly she walked over and pulled me
into a hug. I wasn’t sure how to respond
at first and I definitely wasn’t sure what this meant.
“I want you to live with me,” she finally
said. “You
can start a new life. You need a new
beginning and what better place to start over than the home that you grew up
in,” she continued.
“I-” I began, shocked by the kindness
that this woman was showing me, something that I hadn’t experienced in a long
time.
I couldn’t imagine what would make her give me such an offer. I had just confessed to a
kidnapping and
abandoning my own child. I didn’t
deserve such kindness.
“Will
you please stay with me?” She asked
again.
It was my turn to hug her, “Yes Eva…thank
you so much!” I answered. “This is so-”
“Hey mom!” I was interrupted by a manly voice and the
whining of a very young child.
“Oh! That’s Greg, his wife Linda and my grand-baby!” Eva said; quickly leaving
the kitchen to greet her son and his family.
I walked over to a nearby window in the
living room; giving Eva time to speak with her family and break the news.
“Mom,
who’s that?” Her son asked when he saw
me.
“That’s Diane,” Eva said, “She grew up in
this house and has returned home. I’m
going to let her stay with me for a while.”
“But
you don’t know nothing about her,” Greg’s wife chimed in; her voice a whisper,
but still loud enough for me to hear.
“I know what I need to know,” Eva said
defensively in an equally hushed tone.
“Mom
are you sure this is a good idea?” Eva’s
son asked; not hiding the concern in his voice.
“Boy…didn’t
I raise you to help those in need? Well,
this woman is in need and I’m going to help her. I was hoping you two would as well,” Eva
chastised.
I felt a little helpless there listening
in. I definitely didn’t want to cause a
riff within Eva’s family, but I really didn’t have anywhere else to go.
Eva’s son sighed, “Okay mom…I just hope
you know what you’re doing.”
“I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” his wife added.
“I
didn’t ask you,” Eva said before calling over to me, “Diane honey…come on over
here and meet my son Greg and his wife Linda.”
I slowly walked over…feeling a little
uncomfortable as Eva continued talking to her son… “Didn’t you say that you had
an opening over at the job?” She was asking; no doubt asking about a position
for me.
“Greg, Linda…this is Diane,”
Eva
said introducing me as I stood beside her.
“Hi,”
Greg and Linda said simultaneously.
“And this is my grand daughter Crisann,”
Eva said completing the introductions.
My heart felt so heavy as I stared at Greg and Linda’s little girl. She was a very beautiful little girl…not like
Carmina, but an innocent beauty like my own baby Christina. She stared back at me with pretty brown eyes;
seeking comfort from her father who held her close. I imagined Nick holding our daughter
Christina the same way.
“I’m going to help Diane start a new
life, and Linda, I was hoping that you could help out,” Eva continued.
“Sure, but what do you want me to do?”
Linda asked.
“Well
since you’re both close in age, I was
hoping that you could show her around tomorrow,” Eva said. Both Greg and Linda looked very surprised to
know how young I was, compared to how I looked.
There was a hush in the room, before
Linda finally broke the silence,
“Uh…sure…I can do that…”
“A lot has probably changed since you
last lived here,” she said.
“Yeah,
pretty much,” I answered; my voice trailing off into another awkward silence.
“Well, I’m going to show Diane where
she’ll be staying. Greg, can you grab
her bags and bring them,” Eva ordered as she headed up the stairs.
“Sure mom…” Greg said politely, but I
could tell that he and Linda still weren’t too sure about me staying here with
Eva.
I
followed Eva up the stairs to escape the unsure looks on their faces.
“She looks so old,” I heard Linda whisper
to Greg as soon as they thought I was out of earshot.
Labels: I Stole Evil
