My daughter’s screams turned into cries…
a baby’s cries. Then I heard a male’s
voice call my name… “Diane.”
My eyes were heavy… too heavy.
“Can
she hear us?” There was the voice
again…
“We
think so, she’s gotten close to waking up a few times, but has yet to fully
regain consciousness,” said a soft
female voice.
I opened my eyes enough to see a blinding
light.
It hurt… I
closed my eyes again.
Then I heard the male
voice again, “Do you think we should take the baby out of
here?”
The
female voice
replied
again, “No,
I think the
cries
will help to bring her back.”
“Diane!”
The voice called my name again… only this time I recognized it, but I
couldn’t place it. Then there was the
baby again. I was confused… what
happened to my daughter… and where did this baby come from?
I opened my eyes again. This time the light didn’t hurt so much, but
what I saw didn’t make sense. There was a man who looked a lot like Nick
standing there with a woman. Was I
dead? Did Carmina kill me?
“Will she be okay?” The male voice came again… it was definitely
Nick.
“Her brain functioning is normal. She’s
just been in a very deep sleep, but once she wakes up… I believe that she’ll be
just fine” I realized that the woman was
a doctor from the way she spoke.
“Nick?”
I said softly: opening my eyes fully… my voice groggily and weak as if I
hadn’t used it in a while.
Nick looked over and saw that I had
opened my eyes.
“Diane!”
He called out again, rushing over to my side.
I tried to sit up as Nick cradled my
head.
“Careful!” The doctor warned.
Nick
ignored her… “Oh baby! I was so scared.”
“Nick! You’re here!” I said in a whisper that didn’t sound like
mine; still not fully understanding what was going on. How could it be? Nick had died… Carmina killed him.
“Of course I’m here… where else would I
be?” He said; his voice cracking as he tried to
hold back a sob.
He kissed my forehead and held me close
to his chest, as his tears dripped down on my face. I was shocked and relieved to hear his
heartbeat and feel his arms around me.
Then
I became distracted by the baby cries that had started up again.
I sat up… I had to see where the cries
were coming from.
I looked around Nick and saw a bassinet
with a baby wrapped in a pink
blanket. She was screaming at the top of
her lungs. I didn’t know what to think…
Could it be? Was she mine?
Nick left my side and went to tend to the
crying baby as the doctor began to speak… “Mrs. Thompson… I’m sure you’re
feeling confused and disoriented right now.
You’ve been in a coma for a few days due to complications after your
delivery.”
“A
coma?”
“Yes…
I will explain it all in detail to you and your husband, but for now… somebody
has been waiting to meet you. Would
you like to see your daughter?”
“My daughter?” I asked. I could feel my
heart immediately fill up with joy. I
was back in the hospital… about to see my… daughter.
Nick had picked her up… but I couldn’t
see her. I was afraid… I wanted her to
be alright, but if she wasn’t…
… in my heart, I knew that it wouldn’t
matter. I would love her anyway. Still… I looked toward the doctor for any
signs that something was wrong.
“She’s
perfectly healthy,” The doctor said as if she had read my mind.
A relief filled sigh escaped as I watched
Nick cradle her… our daughter.
“We’ll
just leave you three alone for a while,” the doctor said.
I wanted to hold my daughter so bad, but
I also loved seeing Nick gently rock her; trying to calm her down.
My eyes went back to the door where the
doctor and nurse were leaving… the nurse was very familiar to me.
“Are you ready?” Nick asked… his face full of pride.
I nodded; because if I spoke, I would be
in tears.
Nick
reached over and placed our baby, who was still whimpering, in my arms.
As soon as she was next to my chest, she
stopped crying.
I looked down at her… and she was
beautiful, with two bright
alert eyes.
There are absolutely no words to describe
what I felt holding my child… our child.
I sat up; overwhelmed with emotion…
thinking about all that I had gone through.
I wasn’t sure if the whole situation with
Carmina was just a dream or not.
But just in case, I began to feel around
to make sure this wasn’t all just in my imagination.
Was Carmina ever real? Was I being given a second chance?
I held my daughter up… close enough to
smell her sweet new baby smell and I realized that it didn’t matter.
Whether Carmina was just a delusion or
not… I knew that I had successfully killed her; along with the fear and
insecurities that created her.
And just then, I began to finally
understand why my mother never allowed me to straighten my hair and do certain
things growing up.
She wasn’t trying to be mean or overly
strict. She wanted me to learn to love
myself just as I was. It was a gift… the
same gift that I was determined to give my own daughter. No matter what she grew up to look like… she
would know that she’s beautiful, compassionate, strong and worthy. She would have confidence… confidence that I
lacked for so long.
“So, what should we name her?”
A name?
She deserved a good name… a strong name.
A name that held a lot of meaning for me. But then I realized that she already had a
name…
I looked into Nick’s eyes and said her
name with conviction, “Her name is
Christina.”
Labels: I Stole Evil